So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
