So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
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