i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
