I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
