we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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