walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
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