i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
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