bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize
