just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Randomize
