the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
either way he was missing a nipple.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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