drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Randomize