There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
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