Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
