names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
