i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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