in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Randomize