Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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