I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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