wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Randomize
