Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
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