I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
