it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
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