I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Randomize
