'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize
