I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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