I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
