ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Randomize
