You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
Randomize
