Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize
