but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Randomize