my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
