:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
