I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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