Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize