I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
