Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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