TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Randomize
