My nipple is on Facebook.
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
