I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
