didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
