There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize