after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
