I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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