So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
Randomize
