Tell her she can't have a vagina
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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