and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
