I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
