Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
