Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Pants are for mortals
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
