hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
Randomize
