don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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