My first STD was from a foam party
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Randomize