Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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