Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Randomize
