How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
Michael Bay diarrhea
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize