At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
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