happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
Randomize
