I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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