FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
