I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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