So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Randomize
