You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
