worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
