You were right. It hurts to walk today.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize