WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Randomize
