Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Randomize
