her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
Heybabeimwearingurpanties
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
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