he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
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