bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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