This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
Randomize
