capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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