it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
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