think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
