I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
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